What Is The North Node?

How Does It Affect Relationships?

Today Venus conjuncts with the North Node. This is a time to review relationship patterns and see what is working for us and what needs to be released. Saturn is a part of this dance so we're all being pushed – and many will do so kicking and screaming – to move forward on our soul path. We're not here to endure karmic situations of ANY kind for long periods. This is why all the choices and decisions we make are quite important, especially when it comes to relationships and values.

Many clients and followers believe that a Nodal aspect in the synastry chart means soulmate or Divine Counterpart, but North Node synastry can be just as difficult as South Node. They're both associated with karma which can be positive or negative. Just because it's the North Node doesn't mean it's good. It requires shadow work and many people are not willing to do that. So the question becomes, “How will you keep a soulmate if you're not doing the work?”

Venus rules love, pleasure, luxury, values. The North Node is a mathematical point that represents our soul's journey, our life lessons, our destiny. If you have a Venus-Nodal placement in the birth or synastry chart – especially if it's a harsh aspect such as a square, opposition, or conjunction – you likely have difficulty expressing the Venus qualities. You get into karmic relationships, and you don't have to find them as they find you. There are often feelings of unworthiness, your heart gets broken all the time, getting over breakups is hard, relationships and love are very important, partners are put on pedestals, and there can be difficulty in seeing a partner – or the relationship – clearly because rose-colored glasses are on.

The placement of the North Node in a specific sign and house in the birth chart indicates the area of life where we need to grow and evolve to fulfill our soul's purpose. When your Venus is dancing with the North Node it means your growth is connected to the themes of Venus. You have to learn how to appreciate and cultivate beauty within relationships and how to find balance in what you value. In other words, you may have to learn how to balance your love life with your home life or career. You may have to learn that your needs are just as important as your partner's and they should come first at times.

Venus is considered a benefic planet but when she's connected to the North Node in a harsh way – particularly square – the negative qualities become more apparent. You can spend too much money – either on yourself or a partner. There can be a shopping addiction, you can feel uncomfortable in social situations or not want to put yourself out there. Sometimes the feminine traits are wounded or missing altogether. Finding inner peace seems to be a constant battle. Your heart feels unfilled because you're always off your soul path. Flings can become a way to combat loneliness even though that's not what you want. Many times clients with a Venus-Nodal placement in the birth chart have to learn how to let go of past behaviors and patterns that no longer serve because they're out of alignment with who they want to become. They need to release any attachments to unhealthy connections and embrace new values and ways of doing relationships that are more in alignment with their soul purpose. I find clients have difficulty doing that when they have a Venus-NN/SN placement because the karmic lessons have been around for many lifetimes.

There are lots of people in karmic relationships who don't have a Venus-Nodal placement, so what about them? That has to do with unhealed childhood wounds which is a subject for another day, but there could be relationship karma based on other placements in their chart. I have a challenging chart in terms of love. It has not been an easy road for me. I have Venus AND Juno Retrograde with a Venus AND Chiron square. I have Chiron in my 7th house of marriage and partnerships so it's safe to say that I'm not a fan of traditional marriage. But I do want that spiritual connection with another person. We don't have to be in a church vowing to love each other 'til death in front of a lot of people. We can do that ourselves in a private commitment ceremony on a beach in Greece.

My North Node is in Cancer so I've dealt with a lot of family drama in this lifetime – things I avoided dealing with these people before. My mom just recently passed away 9 weeks ago and it has brought up all kinds of things in regards to who I am, what I want, what I've been through. I'm also very Plutonian with Pluto in my 12th house conjunct my Ascendant so I can't be around just anyone, either romantic or otherwise. I've taken a very deep dive into who I am and I realized that I chose to take on more lessons and pay back a lot of karmic debt in this lifetime so I could make a huge leap in my soul evolution.

I've had MANY karmic partners and I learned something from each of them. Lately, I've started looking at all of my relationship wounds with more clarity. I can take full accountability for everything I did wrong in those previous connections as well as where I accepted nefarious behaviors. I just realized this week that my South Node in Capricorn kept me in some of these relationships much longer than necessary because I was looking for safety and security. Those things were missing in my childhood and I tell clients fairly often that's one reason people gravitate towards partnership.

The South Node feels familiar. It feels safe. Even if we're sitting in piss and shit, there's a certain level of comfort – like a worn-out pair of jeans. The pockets have holes, the crotch is hanging by a thread and buttons are missing. Not exactly what one would wear to a fancy dinner. We tend to express the less appealing sides of ourselves regarding the South Node. Celeste Teal says in her book, “Lunar Nodes” that “the South Node can be viewed as a weak spot. It has been compared to quicksand, as it shows the footsteps we left behind us that we may be tempted to retrace, maybe to only fall into a black hole.” When we act out the negative traits of our South Node, there is often unhappiness and setbacks. That describes a karmic relationship to a T.

The South Node is our comfort zone while the North Node represents a new chapter. The North Node wants to guide us to where we need to go which is one of the reasons for eclipses. Most people have to be pushed – and sometimes, forced – to do the inner work to move forward on their soul path. People say they want happiness but many are unwilling to take the necessary action.

According to Celeste Teal, we don't step into our North Node traits until we cultivate and develop them. This is why we experience certain events, situations, and yes – relationships – that will push us to do so. The more a person insists on staying on their South Node path, the more unhappiness they encounter. My holistic doctor told me years ago that there's no reason for people to get sick, to age, to get fat. It has nothing to do with eating right, exercising, and living a healthy lifestyle. While all those are good things, we still have to do the inner work. It's not about what we eat but what's eating us.

Everyone we meet is karmic. Both the Lunar Nodes and the events from them oftentimes involve other people. It's through those connections that we pay back debt to enjoy “good” karma.” It's these very people who cause us the most pain and heartbreak who are often the ones to push us to learn our karmic lessons and move forward. Some people have more karmic debt than others. I feel I am one of those people. There is often a lot of resistance when it comes to repaying but that's where the karmic lesson comes in. Free will also plays a large part.

We can use all the tools and gifts from our South Node to walk towards our North Node. Some people are able to do that faster than others. Most people work at it their entire lifetime and may do so in the next one. (This is where lifelong soul contracts and soul ties come into play with people unable to extricate themselves from a karmic situation). Even if you've been on a healing journey and are very self-aware, you can still get caught up in South Node behavior. There are many people in the spiritual community who are with karmic partners. Unfortunately, there lots of people on this planet who make very little progress, if any at all. Like our President.

The good news is they will get another chance.

Eventually, we all get there.

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